I often hear people say that all they want to do is lose weight and how different their life would be when they do lose that weight. I find people are then focused on the future and what will be rather than what is. They will call themselves names or let others column names and underneath the shame builds. The shame is what ultimately leads to further binge eating in the future. When you say “I need to lose weight” you’re saying that you’re not OK with yourself as you are. Shame is a core root emotion in overeating.

Focusing on our weight is focusing on the external (your body). Instead focusing on the internal is the way to get more connected with yourself to understand your body and your food. Focusing on your weight is putting judgments on yourself that you do not like who you are.

Truthfully, your weight is not who you are.

I have often heard people say, I am just telling the truth about myself. Accepting yourself as you are different than the subtle and not so subtle put downs of yourself. All of those negative statements and thoughts hold you back from a life of peace with food.

It can be hard to think about loving yourself. It also can be something you have never considered. Here are 4 techniques to help you love yourself and your body NOW…

• Keep clothing that fits.

I challenge you to look for the clothes that you are saving for when you lose weight. This can bring up a lot of feelings, so good easy on yourself. These old clothes can keep you stuck in that diet/binge/shame cycle. Here are some questions to ask yourself about your clothes:

• Do you own items that fit?
• Do they look good on you?
• Do you like them?
• Act lovingly towards your body now.

I know it can be hard to love the body that you have when our society is so focused on looking differently than we look. The process of acting lovingly towards your body is healing to your heart and mind. It can go a long way to bring more balance into your life.

• Take a bath
• Walk down the street.
• Use some scented lotion.
• Affirm a healthy body.

See and affirm your body’s’ health. There are a lot of techniques out there to help guide you with affirmations and visualization. Loving where you are at helps you continue that health in the future. The whole concept of a health body has been hijacked by the weight loss industry ($58 billion industry). The statement “I am looking for health”, can be code for I need to lose weight.

Disconnect “health” from your body size. What is a health body to you, without mentioning size? What does that body feel like and how do it work for you.

• Mindfulness is the best way to get become more loving of your body.

Being present in your body can be so tough when we have been taught and encouraged to deny our bodies. Being present in your body is the ultimate way to feed your soul and to feed your body. Practice mindfulness moment to moment with your breath.

In conclusion, being loving to your body sets you up for success.

This success shows up in feeling good about yourself and your body. Making the connection between your body and self-love is a crucial component to feeding your soul and nourishing your life.

Practice one (or many) of the options above and focus on the value of loving yourself as you are right now. The value of this experience is profound!

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.